Ask Me About My by Suzanne Pearman

on amazon.com you can order a t-shirt that says
“ask me about my ninja disguise”
on etsy.com you can order a t-shirt that says
“ask me about my t-rex”
on crazydogtshirts.com you can order a t-shirt that says
“ask me about my booty”
I guess that is probably a pretty crazy t-shirt by dog standards

here is a list of t-shirts I would wear instead:
“ask me about how I’m coping with the inevitability of my death”
“ask me about my childhood”
“ask me about times when I have felt ashamed”
“ask me about seemingly insignificant moments that shaped me as a person”

“ask me about my narcissism,
my superiority complex,
my poor hygiene”

“ask me about jacques lacan’s mirror stage
because I learned about it as an undergrad
and it interests me”

“ask me about my $10,000 in student loans
and whether I’m embarrassed that I mixed up
jacques lacan and andre lacan
in my first draft of this”

“ask me about my first love,
my dreams, my recurring nightmares”

“ask me about my ideas for other t-shirts”

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“Conversation” image by Flickr user AJC

 

IMG_162145080569Suzanne Pearman is a Chicago-based writer and grad student whose work has been featured in Sunlit, Voicemail Poems, 22nd Century Lit, and elsewhere. She is constantly devising new ways to mortify herself on the internet, most notably on Twitter (@sunshineonvenus) and in her 2013 e-book 98% ENEMY, available on Scribd.