Is it a crime and will I be punished? by Siya Natseva

Is it a crime and will I be punished? by Siya Natseva

crimeandpunishmentMe? Having the hots for a crook? I feel mildly insulted following such a admission! But here I am: 27 and crushing on a murderer. Thankfully, my dilemma – between the socially acceptable and improper – is eased because Rodion Romanovich Raskolnikov isn’t a merciless offender.

Yet, in your mind, there emerges an intimidating man, sunglasses on, his shirt hugging his toned torso. This isn’t the Russian Mafia! Rodya is a compassionate former law student. When poverty strikes, however, he kills a pawnbroker for her money. This is the profile of the protagonist in Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment.

Now, Rodya did write a piece suggesting that some men are “extraordinary” and, therefore, permitted to commit murder. Clearly he considers himself to be among those folk who, by virtue of their greatness, aren’t subjected to conventional morality. Is this a test? Could someone, destined to achieve amazing things, be exempt from the plainly human?

I like my men complex. Painfully predictable – the Russian Mafia kind – won’t cut it with Rodions roaming our streets. He’s remorseful, but then he isn’t. He should surrender, but then he shouldn’t. This irrational behavior is the echoing result of profound self-analysis. It causes head spinning. Literally! Yet people who study themselves, unafraid of their flaws, are very attractive.

The incentive behind his transgression is what makes Rodya irresistible. He doesn’t simply assassinate; he assassinates to realize a goal. He liquidates a petty individual to perform noble deeds. The average person lacks purpose, unlike Rodya. Expecting to alleviate the dirtiness of his misconduct by said acts of goodness, he’s rapidly plagued by the turmoil of failure. Hello, glory à la Napoleon?! Why is our hero incapable of reaching the higher ground? Endearingly, how peculiarly human is he?

Raskolnikov – tortured by his conscience and socially isolated – has captivated many hearts, including mine. And yours?

To read an excerpt from Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment, or to purchase a copy, head to Amazon or IndieBound.


Born and raised in Bulgaria, Siya Natseva has been living in Western Europe for the past six years. With qualifications in European Studies and International Relations, her dedication to policy-making and human rights is as present as ever. With that said, she is equally fond of the idea to work in a more creative field. Public Relations, Creative Writing and submitting Opinion Pieces to publications are all at the centre of her career efforts. Siya has recently started a personal blog to promote a healthy lifestyle and a positive body image. You can find her on Pinterest and Twitter.