Free Indie Books: September 23 – THE EROTICA EDITION

It’s time for another round of Free Indie Books! Every Sunday the Black Heart staff gets together to round up our Top 5 Free Ebooks of the week, in order to pass the freebies on to you. We serve up the cream so you can read the best, and skip the rest, so pull up your favorite e-reader and let’s talk free* ebooks.

This week, we’ve compiled a list of our favorite free erotic ebooks, for your reading pleasure. Be sure to let us know what you think of this genre-specific round-up in the comments below, or give us suggestions for genres you’d like to see highlighted in the coming weeks!

-=- TOP 5 FREE EROTIC INDIE BOOKS: SEPTEMBER 23, 2012 -=-

Inbox Full of Crazy by Chris-Rachael Oseland

Genre: Dating, Romance

Four years. Four cities. Four dating sites.

Gentlemen, get ready to go where no man has gone before. Inbox Full of Crazy takes you into the dark, secret realm of a woman’s online dating inbox. You want to know what you’re up against? Here are over 200 real messages from real men.

These funny, bizarre, and clueless messages range from good Christian men looking for blowjobs to polyamorists looking for another girlfriend to Nigerians hoping to marry their way into a greencard. You also get to spy on obscene messages from men who look like Santa after three years on meth, eye rollingly demeaning tactics used by Pick Up Artists, and the frothy anger of men who are sure they must be the last survivors of the robot apocalypse, because every woman out there is a bot.

Examples include:

FROM “WWJD… WITH HIS COCK?”

You need to be tamed. I have a couple young boys that are with me about 50% of the time. I prefer traditional roles in a relationship – I can lead if someone wants to follow (most women these days do not) – just being honest – one of my faults or positives depending on your view. I have opinions that you do not agree with – but you must be willing to at least let me express my opinion – its a mutual respect thing. I am one with Christ and you must convert to the one true way if we start to date. You must be willing to lose wait. Your sloth is a sin. Once you give yourself to Christ and submit to your man you will learn discipline and not want to eat into a grave anymore.

FROM “RANDOM WEIRDNESS”

Your standing in the frame of a window, your body silhouetted beneath the soft felt cloth that keeps my eyes from seeing all that l desire! A breeze flushes your clothing giving me a sent of what is to come. The power your posses over me is intoxicating. Your blouse is un-button down to your navel. Your breast tanned and exposed add to my desire to take you but l wont my self control back. You will have none of this you will take what you wont, when you wont it. Greece is where we have gone l have waited long for what you hold l will wait no more l will have you!——Stay toned——– If you like, write me back we will take this to the stars..

FROM “PERSISTENT POLYAMORISTS”

Sure you won’t talk? Hey! I know I’ve messaged you a couple of times.. thought I would try yet again because every time I read your profile I find something else I’m pretty sure we have in common. My wife says I’m a great catch.

You’ll find over 200 more messages like that plus plenty of geeky commentary inside Inbox Full of Crazy.

Ladies, don’t let this discourage you from trying to find romance online. The vast majority of guys on dating sites are normal, well intentioned, slightly lonely men looking for a girlfriend. I’ve met some really great men online. This book isn’t about them.

Gents, this is what you’re up against. These guys are in the minority, but oh what a weird minority it is. No matter how hard it is for you to gather up enough courage to click send, remember compared to these guys you are automatically a winner. This book is guaranteed to make you feel refreshingly normal.

Click the button below to get this free ebook!

Fifty Shades of Alice in Wonderland by Melinda DuChamp

Genre: Erotica

BEYOND 50 SHADES OF GREY…

Eighteen-year-old Alice is unhappy. Her boyfriend is nice and polite, but he’s also quick and careless in bed, and doesn’t give Alice the attention and variety she craves. But he’s not entirely to blame, because Alice herself doesn’t understand her own needs. She’s heard about what sex is supposed to be like, but has never felt anything remotely close to what she’s read about in runaway bestselling books.

BEYOND 9 1/2 WEEKS…

Then Alice follows a vibrating white rabbit down a deep, dark hole, which leads to a place beyond her wildest imagination. There are no nice boys–or girls–down here. Only those who indulge in secret, forbidden, kinky fantasies.

BEYOND PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES…

Alice is confused and frightened and… aroused. She is bound. Teased. Spanked. Toyed. Brought to the limits of sexual endurance. And during her trials, she begins to understand her body’s needs for the very first time.

BEYOND THUNDERDOME…

This isn’t the fairy tale you grew up reading. This isn’t for children at all.

This is for those with dark desires, who wish to explore erotic excess beyond the plain vanilla of everyday life. Follow Alice down the rabbit hole, if you dare…

Fifty Shades of Alice in Wonderland is slightly longer than the Lewis Carroll version, roughly 32,000 words or 115 paper pages long. Melinda DuChamp is the pen name of bestselling author who has written over 50 novels, mostly romance.

WHAT READERS ARE SAYING:

“This is the funniest adult novel I’ve ever read!” – Anonymous

“A surprisingly intelligent, well-written parody, and also very hot.” – A Different Anonymous

“Sexy as hell. This is really going to turn you on.” – A turned-on woman who asked not to be named

“Wow! If you were disappointed in other books that claim to be titillating, here’s the cure. You won’t be able to put it down.” – Jane Doe

“I love my Kindle, because no one around me knows what’s on it. Reading this ebook feels like I’m doing something wicked and daring.” – Jane Doe’s friend

“You’ll bookmark the whole thing. Trust me.” – A satisfied reader

“My wife really benefited from me reading this.” – A friend of the author

“Melinda DuChamp is my favorite author, because she came over and painted my house. Also, her book is pretty good.” – The author’s cousin

“I read it and returned it because I’m thrifty, but now I wish I’d kept it because there are some scenes I want to revisit.” – A cheapskate

“Comic erotica! They should invent a new category called comerotica or erotomic. On second thought, that’s pretty stupid.” – A man with too much time on his hands

“My new safeword is DuChamp!” – An enlightened fan

“I read it in one sitting, then had to go to the Emergency Room for a priapism.” – A man about to sue the author

“Strawberry is my favorite flavor.” – A woman who likes strawberry

“I also like chocolate.” – The same woman

Book #2: Fifty Shades of Alice Though the Looking Glass now available

Book #3: Fifty Shades of Alice at the Hellfire Club coming in fall 2012

Click the button below to get this free ebook!

On the Other Side: Tales from the Dark Side of Love & Desire by A. Rozelle

Genre: Erotica

On The Other Side: Tales From the Dark Side of Love & Desire is a collection of short stories that chronicle the ups, downs and sometimes bizarre adventures of lovers, fighters and everyone in-between…

“Paid In Full”
During one steamy, sultry night with a perfect stranger, one woman has to decide if the line between having sex for love and having sex for money is really as clear as she’s always believed…

“On Leave”
A military wife wonders if her marriage will become a casualty in the on-going ‘war on terror’…

“The Travelers”
Two time-traveling lovers must choose between the welfare of the world and their desire for each other…

“On the Other Side”
The temptation to do something different forces Janelle to do some things she never thought she’d do…

“Stages”
After the latest in a long line of heartbreaks, can Destiny fight through the pain and fear in order to give love one last chance?

Click the button below to get this free ebook!

Help Wanted (Fantasy Heights) by Meg Silver

Genre: Erotica, Short Fiction

The pursuit of pleasure begins at Fantasy Heights.

A thirst for adventure leads one young woman to Fantasy Heights. This resort, specializing in fantasy fulfillment, will put her to the test. Does she have what it takes to explore sexual pleasure to its fullest? Does she have the courage to pursue her own fantasies?

Help Wanted is the first installment of Meg Silver’s Fantasy Heights series. For the most current, spoiler-free series news and updates, please visit megsilver.com

Length: 13,678 words, or about 55 pages.

Click the button below to get this free ebook!

The ASH Stories: The Assessment by Samantha Washborne

Genre: Erotica, Sci-Fi

Part 1: The Assessment

Ashley Lumin is a typical graduate student at UMU, class of 2064. She is surprised, then, when she is invited by the enigmatic Serenity to participate in a secret study on campus. Only knowing that her heart tells her not to refuse, she begins down a path of sexual awakening unlike any other. Will she qualify for the program, or does this story end before it has a chance to begin?

Bonus Story: “Shut Down, Turned On”

Gina is overwhelmed with her latest programming project and insists that her husband Tommy wait for her before going to bed. Knowing that she is a slave to coding, he invents another way to get her off of the computer and into bed.

Notes: These stories contain explicit content and are for mature readers only. Themes include bondage, f/f and m/f pairings, Dominant/submissive relationships, and the use of toys.

Click the button below to get this free ebook!

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* PLEASE NOTE: All ebooks were listed as free (or free for Amazon Prime members) at the time of this post’s writing. Ebooks may no longer be free when readers click through to Amazon, based on Amazon’s Free Day policies and restrictions; be sure to verify costs before completing your purchase.