Free Indie Books: September 9

It’s time for another round of Free Indie Books! Every Sunday the Black Heart staff gets together to round up our Top 5 Free Ebooks of the week, in order to pass the freebies on to you. We serve up the cream so you can read the best, and skip the rest, so pull up your favorite e-reader and let’s talk free* ebooks.

-=- TOP 5 FREE INDIE BOOKS: SEPTEMBER 9, 2012 -=-

Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything by Frank J. Fleming

Genre: Humor

It’s hard to remember the dark days before 2008. It was a time of hatred, racism, violence, obese children, war, untaxed rich people, and incandescent light bulbs—perhaps the worst days we had ever seen. And at the heart of it all was a thuggish, thoughtless man, George W. Bush, who lashed out angrily at whatever he didn’t understand—and he understood so very little. Then there was that laugh of his — that horrible snicker that mocked everything intelligent and nuanced. Also, he looked like a chimp.

It seemed like the end for the United States of America. We would crumble in the hands of vicious, superstitious dimwits determined to hunt “ter’ists” or other figments of Bush’s rotten mind. There was nothing left to do but head to Whole Foods to prepare our organic, sustainable, fair-trade last meal as the country ended around us. Despair had overtaken us, and we wondered aloud whether we could ever feel hope again.

And then a man emerged who firmly answered, “Yes we can!”

Oh, but Barack Obama was no mere man. He was a paragon of intelligence and civilized society. A savior to the world’s depressed. A lightbringer. A genius thinking thoughts the common man could never hope to comprehend. And his words — his beautiful words read from crystal panes–reached down to our souls and told us all would be well. With the simple act of casting a ballot for Barack Obama, we could make the world an immeasurably better place–a world of peace, of love, of understanding, of unicorns, of rainbows, of expanded entitlements. This was his promise. And now, having had him as president for more than two years, we can say without reservation that he has delivered all his promises and more and is the best president this country–or any country–has ever had or could even imagine to have.

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Armed and Outrageous by Madison Johns

Genre: Mystery

Senior sleuth — Grandma Mazur meets Murder She Wrote — cozy mystery.

Agnes Barton is not your typical senior citizen living in Tadium, MI, on the shores of Lake Huron. She drives a red hot Mustang, shops at Victoria’s Secret, rankles local police officials, and has a knack for sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong.

What does a murder that happened forty-three years ago have to do with missing tourist Jennifer Martin? Agnes makes it her personal mission to find out, and she’s not letting the fact she’s seventy-two get in the way. Butting heads with Sheriff Clem Peterson is something she’s accustomed to, but lately Clem seems to be acting even more strange, making Agnes wonder what he may be hiding ala the Martin disappearance.

Agnes’ partner in crime, Eleanor Mason tags along, Watson to her Holmes. Together, they unearth clues. If only Eleanor would behave, as although lovable, she has a knack for getting into trouble by tangling with her rival, Dorothy Alton, or flirting with anyone—male or female—and gossiping! She’s incorrigible, but she does carry a Pink Lady revolver in her purse, one that has proved useful at times.

Life for Agnes and Eleanor is shaken up when Agnes’ former boss and secret crush comes to Tadium. Before long, the lady sleuths have more on their hands to contend with as goons roll into town and bullets begin to fly.

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Slate: The Salacious Story of a Hollywood Casting Director by Brian Rowe

Genre: Romantic Suspense

Hollywood casting director Vivien Slate thought she had it all, until coming home one day to find her husband cheating on her with a younger woman. With her marriage on the rocks, she decides it’s the perfect time to recapture her sexual identity… by finding a younger man of her own.

Vivien realizes she has a dating service right inside her own office—she’s a casting director, after all. She devises a scenario to make the town believe her newest film project is as real as any other. She populates the cast with male characters spanning the ages of twenty to forty and begins holding auditions with hundreds of Tinseltown’s most eligible bachelors.

Vivien stops at nothing to find her perfect younger man, even if it means leaving her morals behind and ultimately putting her life in danger.

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WetWeb by Robert Haney

Genre: Science Fiction

Meet Franklin Tempo, a man who lives in a world where organics and technology are interconnected. In this world people are entertained by remotely connecting to actors. In this world, veteran soldiers take control of scared recruits. This is Franklin’s chronicle. In this book Franklin describes his world as he uncovers the forgotten origin and then the cataclysmic end of the WetWeb.

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The Crawling Chaos by H.P. Lovecraft

Genre: Short Fiction

What would you get if you mixed Edgar Allan Poe, Alfred Hitchcock and Stephen King? The answer might be something resembling Howard Phillips (H.P.) Lovecraft (1890-1937), an extremely influential poet and author who mixed science fiction, horror and fantasy into a subgenre known as “weird fiction.”

Perhaps none encapsulates weird fiction like his creation of the monster Cthulhu, which has been used by other writers to spawn a fictional universe and mythology centered around Cthulhu.

Growing up in New England, Lovecraft spun tales that mixed the sleepy history of places like Boston and Providence with legend and magical tales. Though he suffered an untimely death from cancer and wasn’t widely read in his lifetime, his legacy skyrocketed in the subsequent decades, kept alive by outlets like the H.P. Lovecraft Society and the accolades credited to him by the likes of Stephen King, who called him “the 20th century’s greatest practitioner of the classic horror tale.”

This edition of Lovecraft’s The Crawling Chaos is specially formatted with a Table of Contents and is illustrated with pictures of Lovecraft, his life and work.

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* PLEASE NOTE: All ebooks were listed as free at the time of this post’s writing. Ebooks may no longer be free when readers click through to Amazon, based on Amazon’s Free Day policies and restrictions; be sure to verify costs before completing your purchase.