Five Haiku by Jimmy Callaway

Jimmy Callaway sent us some of his haiku. We weren’t sure whether to refer to them as “juvenilia” or not, but figured mentioning that they were submitted on spiral-bound paper, raggedly torn from a notebook would help clear up all the questions.

Mad props to Professor Brown for putting up with his antics, and for giving this troubled youth such high marks, undoubtedly averting another high school shooting.

Professor Brown
English 126
11 July 2006
Poetry #1: Five Haiku


I’ve got a micro-
Wave if you don’t want it cold.
Die, motherfucker.


Five syllables. Then,
Seven more syllables. Then,
Five more syllables.


Naked statues and
Expensive paintings, photos,
Y’know. Shit like that.


I’ll get right on that
Great American novel
Right after “Seinfeld.”


Call me a band snob,
But only fags listen to
Belle and Sebastian.

Jimmy Callaway is a writer of minor repute.

For more info, visit, or send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to “Jimmy Callaway Information,” Pueblo, CO.