EXCERPT: Rock My Socks Off
SYNOPSIS: Writer Jacob Hastings is uninspired by his latest assignment: a museum full of hideous rocking horses. But his socks are rocked by Normandie Stephens, a mischievous astronomer who can match his dry wit, quip for quip, and his sexual appetite, frolic for frolic, with energy to spare.
Thanks to Jacob’s public relations and the machinations of a feisty and frisky mentor named Kate, an impasse in Normandie’s career promises to blossom into either glory or disaster—with enigmatic photographer Susan and obtuse clubber Brandon along for the wild rocking-horse ride. Between farcical talk show appearances, sensuous threesomes, horny little quickies, sex-drenched romantic getaways, and close calls with utter embarrassment, the pace never lets up in this smart erotic romp.
–
“Thank you,” Jacob said when he’d claimed the microphone. “It’s a great problem—er, privilege being here on this momentous occasion. It’s often troubled me that few people recognise the important contributions that the 19th-century rocking horse has made to our society. But I know their importance is no secret to the people here tonight, and for this I thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” said the curator. Jacob gave him a brief, lateral glance.
“It is my modest hope that by taking the antique rocking horse onto the coffee tables of the 35-to-60-year-old, upper-middle-class, urban professionals who constitute the key demographic of a publication like Hip Hip Horizon, that we can … uh … what was I saying?”
All eyes were on him. All but two pairs.
“Sorry. The point is that this museum, in order to flourish, requires two things: The first is national exposure, and the second is your … kissing.”
He’d meant “support,” of course. But he’d been a little distracted.
By Normandie and Susan, who were not watching him.
Because they were locked in the sexiest kiss he’d ever seen.
Normandie’s eyes were closed. He’d seen her do this when he himself kissed her, but that was not the ideal time to admire the effect—nor did it provide the ideal vantage point. This situation, by contrast, gave him an ideal vantage point … and, in spite of everything, Jacob found it to be the ideal time.
Susan’s lips pressed against Normandie’s with what looked, to Jacob, like the softest pressure imaginable; and yet it was a definite pressure, an engineered melting of one set of lips onto another. Tonight, they were each wearing lipstick, and Jacob imagined that the hues were mixing like promiscuous paint.
When their lips pulled back, he saw that they both looked as surprised as he was by what they’d just done. They were beautiful.
“Kissing?” asked the curator. His eyes followed Jacob’s into the crowd; but Normandie and Susan had now broken apart, and all the curator saw was an attentive audience.
“Uh … yes,” improvised Jacob. “In New York, when you make a donation to a worthy cause, we say you’re giving a kiss. It’s sort of like ‘show me some love.’”
“Oh,” said the curator. He did not look convinced, but the audience, perhaps for lack of anything better to do, once again applauded. Jacob leapt upon this as an indication that his speech had concluded, and he headed back toward Susan and Normandie.
Normandie welcomed him with half a glass of wine, which Jacob gulped unceremoniously. He noticed that his hand was trembling.
“You were good,” said Susan.
“Really?” said Jacob. “I was a little distracted, you know.”
“He has a touch of ADD,” Normandie explained.
“I do not have ADD,” Jacob protested. “Not tonight, at least. Tonight I had an episode of YKBMM.”
“What’s that?” asked Normandie.
“Your Kiss Blew My Mind.”
–
Buy your copy of Rock My Socks Off in print, PDF, Kindle, iPhone, or from many online and brick-and-mortar merchants; for more info, please see http://www.jeremyedwardserotica.com/RMSO.html.
–
The libidinous fiction of Jeremy Edwards has been widely published online, as well as in over forty anthologies. His work was selected for The Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica, vols. 7, 8, and 9; he has read at New York’s In the Flesh and Philadelphia’s Erotic Literary Salon; and he has been featured in the literary showcase of the Seattle Erotic Art Festival. Jeremy’s greatest goal in life is to be sexy and witty at the same moment—ideally in lighting that flatters his profile. Readers can drop in on him unannounced (and thereby catch him in his underwear) at jeremyedwardserotica.com.
