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Fung Wah Boogie featuring Alicia Keys by Jim Behrle

Please allow me to reintroduce myself
My name is sprightly green nub
Fatboy McWoothatsaniceline
Exiled former patriot broken Brooklynite
By way of the North Shore

I cry like
Mark McGwire when Bobby Orr takes the ice
“Put a little love in my glovebox”
Flawed like a skank melon, a strain of H1N1
For the emotions

by the way it’s pronounced
“BEE-got”
You’re the genius, I’m the creepy guy
Projecting out to be a minor poet with
Little sex appeal
Buffalo wings do your thing!

Well,
Excuse me, I spent all morning staring
At Connecticut watching the boring-colored
Paint drip and I thought a poem about it might
Be cheerful
“Now You’re in New York”
Receiving the 20th used copy of Pride and
Prejudice and Zombies for the spoiled
Hipster set to buy and ironically loathe to death
We’re all wearing ipods and all listening to the
Same two songs—just put two huge speakers on
The Chrysler Building and Get It Over With
“These Streets Will Make You Feel Brand New
Big Lights Will Inspire You”
And as a bonus there’s a layer of dried urine on
*Everything*

Living in the shadow of Screw Rent!
Go long! I will toss you a knish!
What do I miss most? Moxie, Remy, rubbing
Up and down against you on the crowded
Green Line B train, in that order
What do I regret? I would have preferred
A beautiful fluffy white head of hair ala Ed Barrett
Just take the schwa train to Nitemare Ave
Step over a few dead bodies, pick up a little
Thai food, blow up the Death Star and
You’re There, a 45-story walk-up with a
View of genuine overpriced squalor and hegemony
There’s a poem on 4th Avenue, but don’t pick
It up, it’s filthy
“Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York”
About 20 years past its prime like someone else
We know—but at least my liver grew back

–

Jim Behrle lives in Brooklyn. His latest chapbook, SUCCUBUS BLUES, was released in late 2009 by Editions Louis Wain.

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