Born Trans

Recently, I had the opportunity to attend the North American launch for French author Axel Léotard’s book Mauvais genre, a novel that deals with some of the many issues facing transgender people in France. Léotard writes from personal experience as a trans man, though the novel is not strictly autobiographical. On the back of the book, a key quote from the author summarizes his position: “You don’t become transsexual, you are born transsexual.”

On the face of it, Léotard’s pronouncement seems as if it should be obvious, in the same way that we know that gays and lesbians are born gay or lesbian. It’s just a fact of life; deal with it. And yet I found myself wondering: What exactly does it mean to be born transsexual?

According to Léotard, he knew from a very young age that something didn’t feel quite right in terms of his own gender identity. He didn’t feel female, yet at age 4 he certainly didn’t have the words to describe the feeling. As a Latin prefix, “trans” means “across, beyond or on the opposite side.” Léotard felt this dissonance of being on the opposite side of the generally accepted gender identity he was supposed to have. When he was in his 30s, he had gender reassignment surgery and ultimately became a man. Yet Léotard believes he was this man—a trans man—all along.

Born identity

One of my questions is what (if any) is the difference between a trans man and a male by birth? If a trans man has completed his surgery and fully become a man physically, having been born a man internally, what is the differentiating point? Gender typically refers to our sexual characteristics: In simple terms, men have penises and women have vulvas. Most people, trans or not, would likely agree that body parts alone do not make the man or woman. But what does?

If we agree that so-called masculine and feminine traits do not necessarily conform to a single gender, the picture is all the more confusing. Our gender identities usually include a mixture of typical masculine and feminine leanings. So what, then, makes people feel or experience or know that they are trans, that their inner perception of their own sex does not match up with what the world sees?

And what does it feel like to be at odds with one’s gender?

I have certainly felt at odds with my gender at times, yet I believe myself to be female, I present myself as female and I am offended if ever mistaken for male. Though I might say I feel masculine when I am lifting heavy weights at the gym—and especially when I am lifting far heavier weights than most of the other women—this does not mean I am unfeminine or a male trapped in a female’s body.

So I wonder, does this matching of internal feelings of feminine gender with outward appearance of the same gender occur because I am female on some definable level, or because I have been conditioned to believe that I am? Where does the difference occur for trans people as opposed to (as they are sometimes called) “cis” people, those who are unquestioningly comfortable with their own gender identities?

Sex/gender education

I know that gender is something we are all subtly taught by society, yet this is not a subject covered by any educational curriculum. No one will ever ask you whether you feel male or female; you are simply expected to know the difference and to check the correct box on a form. But what makes someone a man or a woman? What, really, is the difference between the two, and what happens if one is partially both?

For intersex people, I can more clearly see the issues at stake: one is neither-nor, either-or, a little of column A and a little of column B. Should you check “male” because you have much more testosterone than the average female, or “female” because you outwardly appear to be a woman? Thinking of public figures like South African sprinter Caster Semenya, people will debate how male or female you really are. Yet how, really, is gender defined, and how much do our internal feelings about this count in the overall scheme of things?

Do feelings of transgenderism come from within, or are they based upon social repression—a continuous mislabelling that is thrust upon the trans person? I certainly don’t have all the answers, but there is a large body of research, questioning and personal testimony like Axel Léotard’s available. And it’s not only for those who seek it out for personal or sex-column-writing reasons, but should be understood as an area of research and education for everyone.

If you’d like to learn more about transgender issues, the 2110 Centre (2110 Mackay) at Concordia University is a great resource. Concordia’s Co-op Bookstore (2150 Bishop) has a great selection on the subject in their gender and sexuality section, as well as exclusive signed copies of Léotard’s book. For more on Axel Léotard, please see his website here.