Best Sex 2008

As one of the pussy-moistening aspects of my job, I recently received a copy of Best Sex Writing 2008, an anthology of sex-related journalism edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel. The cover is super-sexy and features a stiletto heel stretching a thong away from an unidentified ass. What’s not to love?

Some of the usual suspects are included in the book, from columnists Michael Musto and Tristan Taormino to sex educator and blogger Violet Blue, along with stories from newer writers from many different backgrounds and fields of interest.

The articles range from the hot and hilarious, like Kevin Keck’s “Double Your Panic” (on the sexual attraction of identical twins), to pieces warning about the dangers of sexual predators and of sex itself. Both “Dirty Old Women” by Ariel Levy and “Stalking the Stalkers” by Kelly Kyrik discuss sexual predators, though the first is about female teachers who seduce their students and the second is about baiting and catching pedophiles via the Internet.

“Sex and the Single Septuagenarian” by Liz Langley discusses the issues surrounding sex and the elderly. Viagra is just the beginning. For example, did you know that 16 per cent of all new cases of HIV infection in the state of Florida are in the over-50 age group? It seems seniors tend not to use condoms, figuring either that they can “trust” people their own age because they have been married before or that something else will kill them before HIV does. These are scary thought processes, and they demonstrate that people always think sexually transmitted infections can’t happen to them – no matter what their age or how much sexual experience they have.

“To Have or Have Not: Sex on the Wedding Night,” by Jill Eisenstadt, is an interesting look at the tired old institution of marriage. In it, Eisenstadt informally polls her married friends to discover that most of them never actually had sex on their wedding nights, despite the fact that the whole marriage ceremony and the antics at the reception afterward are meant to demonstrate a woman’s virginity and, thus, lead up to her ultimate deflowering. Eisenstadt suggests that in a world of non-virgin brides, these traditions are meaningless and even potentially damaging, giving false expectations to brides who believe their wedding night will be some sort of fantasy come true.

Obviously, this article is just one more reason why I will never agree to participate in any old-fashioned wedding traditions!

Perhaps one of the most thought-provoking and disturbing articles in the collection is “Battle of the Sexless,” a discussion of self-castration and gender issues written by Ashlea Halpern. In it, the reader hears the story of Talula, a man who removes his own testicles in order to curtail his excessive masturbation and accompanying depression. From this starting point, Halpern asks what it means to be a man in our society, particularly if one’s testicles are removed, in addition to pointing out that the notion of an XX/XY gender binary is increasingly inaccurate.

Halpern’s article also notes that while many men may seek out doctors to perform their castration surgery in a safe environment, very few doctors will ever agree to do so without having the patient undergo extensive sexual-reassignment therapy beforehand. One who would, however, was Dr. Felix Spector, a retired osteopath who became a “founder in the field” and even trained other doctors in castration procedures. Several of his patients told Halpern what they went through, and in several cases, these surgeries were badly botched.

So where does the desire for castration fit into a healthy sexual image, and what should doctors do when their patients request this kind of surgery? Halpern ends her piece with a quote from Talula, saying that people will perform the surgery themselves, if left with no alternatives, calling to mind the back-alley abortions of bygone eras.

The hard questions, it seems, are often left unanswered.

While I really enjoyed this anthology and the unusual points of view the pieces offered me as a fairly knowledgeable reader, the one thing that bugged me was the quote on the cover, which says that it’s “like a whole issue of The New Yorker if The New Yorker gave any attention to sex.”

I’m probably just taking this way too personally, but this quote tweaks my nipples, mainly because it seems to imply that The New Yorker is the only standard of reference, whereas in reality there are plenty of magazines out there that can and do talk about sexual issues in a serious manner. Perhaps you’ve heard of Black Heart, home of the dirtiest minds in literature?

Still, selfish bitching aside, I thought this was a great anthology full of lots of different kinds of stories that would otherwise be difficult to find. It probably won’t get you off, but that’s not the point. Like some of the stuff in Black Heart, the work here is more journalistic in nature and is meant to get people thinking and talking about sex in ways that go beyond the merely titillating. Communication, after all, is the first step towards understanding.

(Originally published at Hour.ca)