The Kama Sutra Must Die
We're having SO much fun doing the Wheelbarrow. Wait, this isn't even IN the Kama Sutra! (photo courtesy of the FHM Kama Sutra)
I was recently asked to teach a class on the Kama Sutra, that ancient Indian source of all things sexy. At first this seemed like a great idea, since there are plenty of people who are interested in finding out just how many different sexual positions they can acrobatically curl themselves into in one night. However, in the process of teaching this course, I eventually came to this conclusion: The Kama Sutra must die.
Now, I’m not saying the Kama Sutra is a total waste of space, but given its reputation, let’s just say this book doesn’t put out the way it claims to. In its seven sections, only one of them is actually devoted to sexual positions and play (or “amorous advances,” as they’re called), and the rest of the book mainly catalogues lists of things that wealthy Indian merchants of the fourth century ought to be doing with their vast amounts of time and money. Like teaching mynah birds and parrots to talk. Where’s the hot sex in that?
Most of the stuff that’s actually in the Kama Sutra is totally useless to hip, modern people like you and me, which is a bummer, because most folks pick up a copy hoping to learn how to become sexual gods or goddesses. Instead, they mainly learn that sex in ancient India was only achieved after prolonged rituals of courtship involving great expense on the part of the gentleman and great amounts of teasing, flirting, crying and even objection on the part of the young lady.
Wait a second, that’s exactly how dating still works today!
But seriously, the kinds of so-called “tips” you’ll find in the Kama Sutra range from the uselessly obvious (“All agree on the point that in sexual intercourse, the man reaches orgasm more quickly than the woman”) to the backward and possibly even misogynistic (“Women who have their period, who are about to give birth, are too narrow, who are pregnant, or are too big, should not practice the inversion of roles”). While these kinds of things may have been considered good advice back in the early days of life on planet Earth, those of us living in 2008 often find them offensive, dangerous or even illegal.
Advocating the seduction of minors and of other men’s wives, sex with animals, and using one’s political influence to essentially rape women is certainly not the kind of advice I’d like to read in a sex manual. How about a little advice on how to talk to people, behave on a date or make a move on the object of your fancy, without coming off like a creep? Hell, how about some reasons why those fabled positions are so great, and for which partner?
In light of this lack of helpful advice, there’s definitely been a trend towards modernizing the Kama Sutra’s message, with books like The Modern Kama Sutra: The Ultimate Guide to the Secrets of Erotic Pleasure by Kamini and Kirk Thomas and Kama Sutra for 21st Century Lovers by Anne Hooper. There are also “Kama Sutra with a twist” titles, like The Gay Man’s Kama Sutra by Terry Sanderson and Kat Harding and The Lesbian Kama Sutra by Kat Harding, that fill in gaps in the Kama Sutra’s heterocentric approach.
Indeed, the Kama Sutra market is glutted with products that purport to help lovers enhance their sex lives, such as Kama Sutra™ massage oils, bath gels, pleasure balms, lubricants and edible honey dust (with feather applicator), as well as instructional DVDs, fictionalized stories “based” on the Kama Sutra, coupon booklets, dice games, playing cards and even a Kama Sutra wall calendar created by new age guru Deepak Chopra!
If there’s a way in which someone can cash in on the Kama Sutra brand, it’s undoubtedly been done.
These days, the Kama Sutra isn’t the place to go for useful, practical or even entertaining sexual advice. It’s an interesting look at ancient Indian culture and society, but it’s not the type of thing that will help you woo a lover or become a champ in the bedroom. For that, you’re much better off writing to sex columnists, talking to your doctor, searching the Internet for support groups and like-minded kinksters or enrolling in a workshop at a place like Joy Toyz, where you can get a little personal, hands-on expertise.
Sexy events
Speaking of Joy Toyz, their next Loft Party is April 9. Sign up now if you are interested in participating in a sex toy party but don’t want to host! And don’t forget to check their website at joytoyz.ca for a full list of upcoming workshops.
(Originally published at Hour.ca)
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