Y. Funk Does Poetry

Verse in the Irish Classical Style

There once was a boy named Y. Funk
Who thought dirty poems were so punk
So he took out his pen
And you know what happened then
He found that limericks are harder than they… lunk?

*

There once was a girl from Nantucket
Who always took dumps in small buckets
To be perfectly blunt
I know nothing of that cunt
And what else will rhyme with “ucket?”

*

There once was a man with angina
Who lived in the wastelands of China
He’d not seen a girl in ten years
So when one suddenly appears
He’ll be really really surprised, kinda

*

There once was a girl from Venus
Who insisted I was a girl and she’d seen us
I remembered my huge lance
And took down my pants
I guess I’ll end this one with “penis”

*

I once took a few moments to sit
And work all the rhymes till they fit
We’ve learned something today
In a spectacular way
Y. Funk can’t write poetry for shit

Y. Funk is a Black Heart staffer who normally writes brilliant prose, as you can confirm by downloading a copy of our Spring 2005 print edition. This is the only reason we forgive him for his dreadful attempts at poetry.