The Interpretation of Wet Dreams

I dream a lot about men I don’t want. Men I don’t need. Men I am absolutely not attracted to. Men who turn me down in the cruellest ways.

Men like Jude Law.

Yes, Jude Law even denies me sexual satisfaction in my dreams. What kind of a cad would do such a thing? Jude Law, town bicycle, is telling ME that I’M the one who’s not good enough for HIM! He’s spinning some sob story about how I broke his heart, and when I try to get him to explain he gives me the melodrama, the waterworks, the cold shoulder. I never get into his pants. The dude is stone cold.

Not at all what I’d like to be seeing in my nocturnal expeditions.

So what does this mean? That I’m tragically realistic, even when unconscious? That I’ve got a thing for men I can’t have and don’t know? That I’m living a double life, fucking Sienna Miller?!

Honestly, Jude, you’ve got some explaining to do.