Ode to a Blowjob by Humbert Humvee

Though many years now lie between us
still I think about my penis
covered in your lips, enchanting,
and it’s hard to keep from panting.

Lying in my bed, erected,
enjoying blowjobs, recollected,
fantasizing of lost loves…
as Hamlet said “Aye there’s the rub.”

See, even though we’re so damn distant,
memory remains insistent
that I get to you again
to try another cardinal sin
because my dear you fucking floor me
when you’re on your knees before me
you deserve the highest laurels:
no woman living beats your oral.

To hear an audio version of this poem, please click here.

Humbert Humvee enjoys lyric poetry, the allure of shorts skirts with knee-socks, and women who vaguely resemble Queen Elizabeth I.